Monday, October 5, 2009

The beers on the bus

A woman was drinking a large can of beer wrapped in a brown paper bag, she was sitting next to a guy who turned out to be her brother. He was drinking an equally large can of beer wrapped in a paper bag. The bus was crowded and somehow I wound up standing near them.
The woman was having one of these cell phone conversations WHERE EVERYTHING IS SAID REALLY LOUDLY FOR NO REASON or because of drunkenness.
The man offered me a seat.
She paused from her phone convo and said to her brother, "If you didn't offer her a seat I would have busted you in your God D&%^% head!"
I laughed and when I saw he was not laughing I quickly stopped. I thought she was kidding. He stood by the back door and put his tall beer in the garbage bag tied to a pole.
There were children sitting next to us. She said into her cellphone,
"You're lucky there are some kids sitting next to me or I would be cussing your ass out!"
"You got some candy? You know what kind of candy I mean!" For some reason that sounded like some kind of drug deal.
She started to describe her looks to the person on the phone. No comment she did not look like her description-drunk, old haggard weave, stank, loud, she didn't mention any of these things.
She then gave the phone to her brother and she hawk eared and eyed him. He was trying to describe her on the sneak tip and she's like "I already described myself. I'm gonna stab you in your neck if you don't stop that stupid sh*t!"
He complained into the phone about her violent nature. Not good for the blind date I think they were arranging.
She said, "I stopped fighting! It was your fault I would be getting into all those fights."

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