Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Movie-Driver's Ed

I cried when they showed The Movie in Driver's Ed class. The Movie was this horror movie where they showed all these slow motion accidents with people flying out of moving car windows, getting smashed by trains because they tried to outrun the train, people falling asleep at the wheel and slamming into trucks, just horrible scenarios and it was real footage. Distracted drivers just mowing down people! And I tried to watch it and started to cry it was tooooo much. I cried quietly so I didn't embarrass myself. I read my book and put on the headphones. The people in the class were groaning and screeching, and ooohhing and oh shitting. Some covered their eyes. And the soundtrack was a sad, slow pop song about being in the arms of the angel.

Going home the bus is packed. A big dude is sitting in the front, he has an open can of beer, the tall kind, in a paper bag in one hand and in the other hand he has a small bottle of liquor like they give in airplanes of whiskey? vodka? rum? He is loud and laughing. He doles out unwanted, yucky, salacious relationship advice to the bus riders. Like nasty advice.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Stench

I got on a relatively empty bus that smelled so bad. It smelled like if the Grim Reaper ate some three day old, left over, left out taco bell and then went out, got on the bus and farted a wet, nasty fart that had a life of it's own. Then Reaper got off the bus and left the offensive odor. I got on that bus. The doors shut ominously loud behind me.
I panicked. The bus was going at a breakneck speed down the street. I had to hold on. I had to sit. I had to get out! It was a Sunday, if I got off the bus the wait would be 45 minutes, if I was lucky.
I scrambled to this seat and then another one and all of it SMELLED bad. I finally sat and opened the window. The "fresh-ish" air helped. Malodor was my neighbor.

The smell permeated the seats, the walls. It wasn't a smell, more like a terrible stench of 40 days and 40 nights of living, eating, walking, sweating and not washing, and it smelled like piss dripped and dried and shit not washed out of cracks, and sweat forever more, and body odor, the nastiest, worst funk.

A woman had a like one year old baby on her lap, the baby's head was tilted all the way back, downing the drink from her sippy cup. Her head stayed back for so long it seemed unreal. It couldn't be the baby that smelled that bad. Nothing that came out of babies smelled like that.

Someone sprayed perfume. Could you believe The STINK gobbled up the spray. Being close to the open window helped. At first I watched the range of emotions people had when the smell hit them. Some frowned, and shook their heads in disgust. Others made comments about nasty asses stinkin'. They realized quickly though that if they opened their mouths too wide the STINK would try to get down their throats. I stopped looking at the people and opened the book I brought to read during that, my "Me" time on the bus. Somehow the wicked smell faded a bit. How could that be?
The bus pulled up to my stop. People looked at me with envy because I was getting out of that smelly bus. I walked home slowly, thankful that the smell did not follow me. I relished in the colors and beauty of the changing to evening sky.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Driving class is going great. Tests every week and I'm getting 90's and 100's.
Getting on the bus to class is where the action happens. I got on the bus and there is a hooded, youngish late teens, early twenties guy sitting in the front with bags all around him. He stares at people as they get on the bus. He gives me a look. A dude with suspenders and huge Erkel glasses gets on and sits across from the guy with the bags. The guy stares at the dude with the glasses with annoyance and exasperation. He mutters, "glasses" and "bald headed". The dude looks uncomfortable but doesn't look at the guy who is obviously talking about him.
The homeless guy looks at me and sticks out his tongue. Not like in a nasty way, but like a first grader nya -nyaing his friend. I laughed out loud, it was so funny, such a strange gesture from a stranger. I did not stick my tongue out at him.